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about
After The Omen Egg, I still had trans-ness on the brain, but didn't wanna write something as self-centred as that album was. I wrote a song a while back (that was meant to be the B-Side to this, should I have been bothered to finish it) about coping mechanisms and suicide, so this kinda sprung out of the gap between these ideas.
So this is basically about the difference between ideation and intent with regards to suicide (and structurally crosses that boundary throughout the song). And I wanted the production to kinda match that, so it starts all acoustic and small with some CSSP fuckery happening around, and over the bridge shifts and corrupts into a disarray that I hope aptly represents the concept.
lyrics
"What kind of fish are these?"
What kind of fish are these? -
She asks, over and over.
Her tears begin disrupting the water.
I feel safe in her arms,
The coffin serenity of the threat of sleep,
But I know she'll never be warm.
I know she'll never be...
When I die,
I hope you don't find my body;
When I die,
I hope the despondency of my absence fails to reach you.
Fill my spot in your bed
And wanting in your rectum.
My emotional sexlessness
And frostbite member.
I'll fill the river with fish and leave them hungry.
I'll fill the river with fish and leave them hungry.
I'll fill the river with fish and leave them hungry.
I'll fill the river with fish and leave them hungry.
I'll fill the river with fish and leave them hungry.
When I die,
I hope you don't find my body;
When I die,
I hope you're not the one to find me.
When I die,
I hope you don't find my body;
When I die,
I hope you're not the one to find me.
Let go of my arm and let me sink
Flailing and Fucking
Into the black night, black night.
Press your teeth to mine and tell me:
"It doesn't have to hurt"
Don't think of me when you touch yourself,
Don't think of me when you touch yourself.
Don't think of me when you touch yourself,
Don't think of me when you touch yourself.
Don't think of me when you touch yourself,
Don't think of me when you touch yourself.
Don't you think of me, when you touch yourself.
credits
released May 30, 2023
Written, Performed, Recorded, Mixed and Mastered - Clarise Starling
Artwork Photography - Clarise Starling
Artwork Editing - Cal Murphy
